Love the writing..   It explain a lot with what happen in the net lately.. http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203803904574431151489408372.html

Why Email No Longer Rules…

And what that means for the way we communicate

Email has had a good run as king of communications. But its reign is over.

In its place, a new generation of services is starting to take hold—services like Twitter and Facebook and countless others vying for a piece of the new world. And just as email did more than a decade ago, this shift promises to profoundly rewrite the way we communicate—in ways we can only begin to imagine.

Journal Community

“I’ll stick with e-mail — write when I want, as often (or not ) as I want, to whom I want privately. No interest in letting the world know that I overcooked the spaghetti.”

—–Don Brazier

We all still use email, of course. But email was better suited to the way we used to use the Internet—logging off and on, checking our messages in bursts. Now, we are always connected, whether we are sitting at a desk or on a mobile phone. The always-on connection, in turn, has created a host of new ways to communicate that are much faster than email, and more fun.

Why wait for a response to an email when you get a quicker answer over instant messaging? Thanks to Facebook, some questions can be answered without asking them. You don’t need to ask a friend whether she has left work, if she has updated her public “status” on the site telling the world so. Email, stuck in the era of attachments, seems boring compared to services like Google Wave, currently in test phase, which allows users to share photos by dragging and dropping them from a desktop into a Wave, and to enter comments in near real time.

Little wonder that while email continues to grow, other types of communication services are growing far faster. In August 2009, 276.9 million people used email across the U.S., several European countries, Australia and Brazil, according to Nielsen Co., up 21% from 229.2 million in August 2008. But the number of users on social-networking and other community sites jumped 31% to 301.5 million people.

“The whole idea of this email service isn’t really quite as significant anymore when you can have many, many different types of messages and files and when you have this all on the same type of networks,” says Alex Bochannek, curator at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, Calif.

So, how will these new tools change the way we communicate? Let’s start with the most obvious: They make our interactions that much faster.

Into the River

Years ago, we were frustrated if it took a few days for a letter to arrive. A couple of years ago, we’d complain about a half-hour delay in getting an email. Today, we gripe about it taking an extra few seconds for a text message to go through. In a few months, we may be complaining that our cellphones aren’t automatically able to send messages to friends within a certain distance, letting them know we’re nearby. (A number of services already do this.)

These new services also make communicating more frequent and informal—more like a blog comment or a throwaway aside, rather than a crafted email sent to one person. No need to spend time writing a long email to your half-dozen closest friends about how your vacation went. Now those friends, if they’re interested, can watch it unfold in real time online. Instead of sending a few emails a week to a handful of friends, you can send dozens of messages a day to hundreds of people who know you, or just barely do.

Consider Twitter. The service allows users to send 140-character messages to people who have subscribed to see them, called followers. So instead of sending an email to friends announcing that you just got a new job, you can just tweet it for all the people who have chosen to “follow” you to see. You can create links to particular users in messages by entering @ followed by their user name or send private “direct messages” through the system by typing d and the user name.

Facebook is part of the trend, too. Users post status updates that show up in their friends’ “streams.” They can also post links to content and comment on it. No in-box required.

Dozens of other companies, from AOL and Yahoo Inc. to start-ups like Yammer Inc., are building products based on the same theme.

David Liu, an executive at AOL, calls it replacing the in-box with “a river that continues to flow as you dip into it.”

But the speed and ease of communication cut both ways. While making communication more frequent, they can also make it less personal and intimate. Communicating is becoming so easy that the recipient knows how little time and thought was required of the sender. Yes, your half-dozen closest friends can read your vacation updates. But so can your 500 other “friends.” And if you know all these people are reading your updates, you might say a lot less than you would otherwise.

Too Much Information

Another obvious downside to the constant stream: It’s a constant stream.

That can make it harder to determine the importance of various messages. When people can more easily fire off all sorts of messages—from updates about their breakfast to questions about the evening’s plans—being able to figure out which messages are truly important, or even which warrant a response, can be difficult. Information overload can lead some people to tune out messages altogether.

Such noise makes us even more dependent on technology to help us communicate. Without software to help filter and organize based on factors we deem relevant, we’d drown in the deluge.

Enter filtering. In email land, consumers can often get by with a few folders, if that. But in the land of the stream, some sort of more sophisticated filtering is a must.

On Facebook, you can choose to see updates only from certain people you add to certain lists. Twitter users have adopted the trend of “tagging” their tweets by topic. So people tweeting about a company may follow their tweet with the # symbol and the company name. A number of software programs filter Tweets by these tags, making it easier to follow a topic.

The combination of more public messages and tagging has cool search and discovery implications. In the old days, people shared photos over email. Now, they post them to Flickr and tag them with their location. That means users can, with little effort, search for an area, down to a street corner, and see photos of the place.

Tagging also is creating the potential for new social movements. Instead of trying to organize people over email, protesters can tweet their messages, tag them with the topic and have them discovered by others interested in the cause. Iranians used that technique to galvanize public opinion during their election protests earlier this year. It was a powerful example of what can happen when messages get unleashed.

Who Are You?

Perhaps the biggest change that these email successors bring is more of a public profile for users. In the email world, you are your name followed by a “dot-com.” That’s it. In the new messaging world, you have a higher profile, packed with data you want to share and possibly some you don’t.

Such a public profile has its pluses and minuses. It can draw the people communicating closer, allowing them to exchange not only text but also all sorts of personal information, even facial cues. You know a lot about the person you are talking to, even before you’ve ever exchanged a single word.

Take, for example, Facebook. Message someone over the site and, depending on your privacy settings, he may be a click away from your photos and your entire profile, including news articles you have shared and pictures of that party you were at last night. The extra details can help you cut to the chase. If you see that I am in London, you don’t need to ask me where I am. They can also make communication feel more personal, restoring some of the intimacy that social-network sites—and email, for that matter—have stripped away. If I have posted to the world that I am in a bad mood, you might try to cheer me up, or at least think twice about bothering me.

Email is trying to compete by helping users roll in more signals about themselves. Yahoo and Google Inc. have launched new profile services that connect to mail accounts. That means just by clicking on a contact, one can see whatever information she has chosen to share through her profile, from her hobbies to her high school.

But a dump of personal data can also turn off the people you are trying to communicate with. If I really just want to know what time the meeting is, I may not care that you have updated your status message to point people to photos of your kids.

Having your identity pegged to communication creates more data to manage and some blurry lines. What’s fine for one sort of recipient to know about you may not be acceptable for another. While our growing digital footprints have made it easier for anyone to find personal information about anyone online if they go search for it, new communications tools are marrying that trail of information with the message, making it easier than ever for the recipient to uncover more details.

A Question of Time

Meanwhile, one more big question remains: Will the new services save time, or eat up even more of it?

Many of the companies pitching the services insist they will free up people.

Jeff Teper, vice president of Microsoft Corp.’s SharePoint division, which makes software that businesses use to collaborate, says in the past, employees received an email every time the status changed on a project they were working on, which led to hundreds of unnecessary emails a day. Now, thanks to SharePoint and other software that allows companies to direct those updates to flow through centralized sites that employees can check when they need to, those unnecessary emails are out of users’ in-boxes.

“People were very dependent on email. They overused it,” he says. “Now, people can use the right tool for the right task.”

Perhaps. But there’s another way to think about all this. You can argue that because we have more ways to send more messages, we spend more time doing it. That may make us more productive, but it may not. We get lured into wasting time, telling our bosses we are looking into something, instead of just doing it, for example. And we will no doubt waste time communicating stuff that isn’t meaningful, maybe at the expense of more meaningful communication. Such as, say, talking to somebody in person.

—Ms. Vascellaro is a staff reporter in The Wall Street Journal’s San Francisco bureau. She can be reached at jessica.vascellaro@wsj.com

I like the idea so much..the content and the design..  for detail please go to his blog : http://bryanconnor.com/2009/04/brain-shopping/

1. Triangulate. Identify three sides of the problem, such as “audience,” “voice,” and “message.” Collect and organize ideas in these categories.
2. Make a cube. Take an idea or problem and describe, compare, analyze (break down), associate, apply, and argue for and against it.
3. If working in a team, assign a different side of the cube to each person.
4. Think like a journalist. Ask who, what, when, where, why.
5. Make a word salad. Write down every word you can think of that relates to the problem. Sort the words to discover patterns and ideas.
6. Do a Google check. Who else has solved your problem?
7. Go to the library. Books are packed with information and inspiration.
8. Rewrite the problem. If the problem is “X,” change it to “Why?” Then Imagine the obvious solution. Now, imagine its opposite.
9. Look for solutions you admire. Analyze why you admire them.
10. Think like an interior decorator. Create a mood board with magazine clippings, fabric samples, snapshots, key words, etc.

1. Find a place where you can pin up your ideas and look at them as a group.
2. Apply thinking from another field to your problem. (“How would a zoologist design a backpack?” “How would a chef choose a color palette?”)
3. If your problem is overwhelming (“end global warming” or “design a universal typeface”), break it down into smaller parts (“get people to walk more” or “design six letters”).
4. Make a word map. Write down the problem on the middle of a piece of paper. Diagram everything you can think of about the problem (context, history, similar problems, competing ideas, available resources, etc).
5. Write down every obvious solution you can think of in order to clear your mind for something new.
6. Think like a curator. Collect everything you know about the problem. Display your data and look for meaningful patterns.
7. Think like an anthropologist. Observe people doing an activity related to your problem (using a product, completing a task, taking the bus, etc.)
8. Ask people what they like and don’t like.
9. Ask people what they wish for.
10. Ask people about their personal experiences.
11. Find a place to think where you won’t be distracted by other tasks.
12. Take a walk or take a shower.
13. Go shopping.
14. Drink tea.
15. Eat less food. Digesting a big lunch consumes energy that your brain could be using to get ideas.
16. Chew more gum. Research shows that chewing gum not only cleans your teeth but loosens up your mind and makes you smarter.
17. Put all your ideas on index cards. Compare them. Sort them. Rank them.
18. Think about your idea while falling asleep or waking up.
19. Wear five hats. Evaluate an idea from five different perspectives. White=information (What are the facts?). Red=emotion (How does the idea make you feel?). Yellow=optimism (What’s great about the idea?). Black=pessimism (What’s wrong with the idea?). Green=growth (What are alternatives to the idea?). Blue=process (How is the evaluation process going?).
20. Sketch. Make quick, simple diagrams of different ideas.
21. Sketch in 3D. Make models with cardboard and tape instead of pencil and paper.
22. Visualize the competition. Make a map showing where your problem, product, client, or concept sits in relation to similar or competing problems or ideas.
23. Visualize the bigger picture. Make a diagram showing how your problem fits into larger systems. For example, a shopping bag relates to how people shop, how bags are manufactured and shipped, and what happens to bags when people are finished with them.
24. Design a system or tool instead of an object or artifact.
25. Compare and connect. Find metaphors for your problem.
26. Empathize. Imagine yourself as the user, reader, or client.
27. Simplify. Explain your idea in a single sentence.
28. Set constraints. Cut down on brain clutter by limiting yourself to a particular material, size, vocabulary, etc.
29. Recycle. A bad solution for one problem could be a good solution for another.
30. When you hit a dead end, try again later

Very interesting post from Parent Center web..

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-raise-a-happy-child-ages-2-to-4_1492443.bc?showAll=true

I guess all parents want their child to be a happy child.. but how? This article has a very good point and clues..

Like any parent who wants the best for her children, Trish Bragg has done everything she can to make sure Isabel, Charlie, and Madeline are healthy, have plenty of stimulating activities to fill their day, and are loved unconditionally. Yet, like many, she struggles with parenting’s million-dollar question: Are my kids happy? “Among all my friends, that’s what we want to know,” Bragg says.
What makes children happy may surprise you. Child development experts who study the subject say that happiness isn’t something you can give a child like a prettily wrapped present. In fact, says Edward Hallowell, psychiatrist and author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, over-indulged children — whether showered with toys or shielded from emotional discomfort — are more likely to grow into teenagers who are bored, cynical, and joyless. “The best predictors of happiness are internal, not external,” says Hallowell, who stresses the importance of helping kids develop a set of inner tools they can rely on throughout life.
The good news is you don’t have to be an expert in child psychology to impart the inner strength and wisdom it takes to weather life’s ups and downs. With patience and flexibility, any parent can lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happiness.

Learn to read the signs

When your child was a baby and toddler, you probably had a good sense of whether he was happy or sad. His face lit up in a huge smile when you came home, and he sobbed endlessly when the dog shredded his favorite blankie.
Now that he’s older, his emotions are more complex. But fortunately, his ability to control them is growing stronger. Still, the outward signs of whether he’s happy or unhappy aren’t hard to read. A happy child smiles, plays, shows curiosity, socializes with other children, and doesn’t need constant stimulation.
Conversely, says Hallowell, the signs of an unhappy child are clear: The child “is withdrawn, quiet, not eating very much, doesn’t spontaneously get involved with other children, doesn’t play, doesn’t ask questions, doesn’t laugh and smile, and has very spare speech.”
If you have a naturally shy or introverted child who doesn’t laugh or interact a lot, that doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. Shyness is not the same as sadness, but you’ll have to work harder to read his signs. Hallowell says to be aware of any major changes in his behavior — becoming more isolated or fearful — that might suggest he’s having problems you should pay attention to.
Paul C. Holinger, professor of psychiatry at Rush-Presbyterian-St. Luke’s Medical Center in Chicago, has identified nine inborn “signals” that babies use to communicate their feelings. You can recognize these signals in your preschooler also. Two of the signals, “interest” and “enjoyment,”, are positive feelings, while the negative signals, especially “distress,” “anger,” and “fear,” add up to an unhappy child.
Most parents recognize that a fearful, easily upset child isn’t a happy camper, but Holinger finds that many parents don’t recognize that an angry child is usually expressing sadness. No matter the age, “anger is simply excessive distress,” says Holinger. When your child hits his brother or yells “I hate you!” it means he’s distressed beyond his ability to deal with it.
Your child probably has his own ways of showing you when he’s going through a hard time. Some kids may withdraw, some may throw tantrums, and still others may become clingy. As you get to know your own child’s temperament, you’ll become better at learning the signs that something’s not right in his world. For more insights into your child’s natural temperament, check out our article, “Are children born happy?”

Make room for fun

If your preschooler took a minute to think about her happiest times, she would probably realize that what makes her happiest is you. And that’s the first key to creating a happy child says Hallowell. “Connect with them, play with them,” he advises. “If you’re having fun with them, they’re having fun. If you create what I call a ‘connected childhood,’ that is by far the best step to guarantee your child will be happy.”
Play creates joy, but play is also how your child develops skills essential to future happiness. Unstructured play allows her to discover what she loves to do — build cities out of blocks, teach counting to her stuffed animals — which can point her toward a career that will seem like a lifetime of play. Play doesn’t mean after-school lessons, organized sports, and other structured, “enriching” activities. Play is when children invent, create, and daydream.
Kim Orr of Atlanta says that when her youngest was born, the two older children had to drop some of their scheduled activities. “With more downtime,” says Orr, “they truly are happier within themselves. I see they’re able to manage the rest of their lives better, which breeds an inner happiness .”

Help them develop their talents

Hallowell’s prescription for creating lifelong happiness includes a surprising twist: Happy people are often those who have mastered a skill. For example, when your child practices catching a ball, he learns from his mistakes, he develops persistence and discipline, and then he experiences the joy of succeeding due to his own efforts.
He also reaps the reward of gaining recognition from others for his accomplishment. Most important, he discovers he has some control over his life: If he tries to do something, he has the satisfaction of finding that, with persistence, he can eventually do it. Research shows that this feeling of control through mastery is an important factor in determining adult happiness.
Hallowell warns that children, like adults, need to follow their own interests, or there’ll be no joy in their successes. Rebecca Marks of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, says that her 3-year-old son Zachary’s number one interest is construction. “He loves to build things and to help his dad build special projects. It makes him feel good about himself. We try to help him focus on what he has a natural talent for, where we can tell he’s really having fun.”

Healthy bodies, happy children

Lots of sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet are important to everyone’s well-being, especially children’s. For exercise, your child doesn’t need to be on a T-ball team: Just running around outside helps children with their moods. And pay attention to your child’s need for structure: While some children are very easygoing, most thrive and are happier with a set schedule that lets them know what’s coming.
You might also want to pay attention to any connection between your child’s mood and particular foods. Some parents find that while sugar can give their child an energy boost, it can also create mood swings or aggressive behavior. Food allergies and sensitivities may also play a role in your child’s behavior and mood.

Let them struggle with problems

But, you say, I’m supposed to be creating a happy child! Shouldn’t I swoop down and make everything better? In fact, Carrie Masia-Warner, a child psychologist and associate director of the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Institute at the New York University School of Medicine, sees this as a big mistake many loving, well-intentioned parents make.
“Parents try to make it better for their child all the time, to make them happy all the time. That’s not realistic. Don’t always jump in and try to fix it,” advises Masia-Warner. “Children need to learn to tolerate some distress, some unhappiness. Let them struggle, figure out things on their own, because it allows them to learn how to cope.”
Hallowell agrees that allowing children a range of experiences, even the difficult or frustrating ones, helps build the reservoir of inner strength that leads to happiness. Whether a child’s 7 months old and trying to crawl or 7 years old and struggling with subtraction, Hallowell tells parents, he’ll get better at dealing with adversity simply by grappling with it successfully again and again.
They learn that no matter what happens, they can find a solution. This doesn’t mean children shouldn’t ask for help if they need it, but your role is to help them find a solution, not provide it for them. Learning to deal with life’s inevitable frustrations and setbacks is critical to your child’s future happiness.

Check in with your child

The best advice on how to know if your child is happy is the simplest: Talk with him. Even more important, says Hallowell: Listen. “I ask my kids if they’re happy so often they roll their eyes,” he says. “It’s a way of checking in, of letting them know that I care.”
Masia-Warner agrees that open communication is essential in understanding your child’s moods. “For instance, say to your child, ‘You seem sad. Is there something you want to tell me, something that’s bothering you?’ Then, let him talk.” If your child brushes you off, try again the next day.
But Atlanta mom Orr warns that your child may let loose when you least expect it. “Like one time we were at the grocery store,” she says, “and all of a sudden my daughter was crying in the produce section about something that had happened at school earlier that week.”

Allow them to be sad or mad

When your child pouts in a corner during a birthday party, your natural reaction may be to say, “You should be having fun like everyone else!” But it’s important to allow her to be unhappy. Hallowell is concerned that “some parents worry any time their children suffer a little rejection, they don’t get invited to the birthday party, or they cry because they didn’t get what they wanted.”
Children need to know that it’s okay to be unhappy sometimes — it’s simply part of life. And if we try to squelch any unhappiness, we may be sending the message that it’s wrong to feel sad. We need to let them experience their feelings, including sadness.
You can encourage your child to label her feelings and express them verbally, which then helps her to regulate them. Don’t try to solve her problems for her. Instead, just listen and help her talk through her feelings.
Sharon Cohn of West Orange, New Jersey, believes it’s important for her 5-year-old daughter, Rebecca, to learn how to express her emotions rather than bottle them up inside. “She’ll say, ‘Mom, I’m very angry with you’ or ‘I’m so sad we couldn’t go here.’ I try to validate her feelings. I say, ‘I’m sorry you’re angry’ or ‘I’m sad also,’ and we talk about it.”
However, Masia-Warner warns, you shouldn’t overreact to your child’s negative feelings. “It’s normal for kids to become oversensitive or clingy or nervous at times because of something in their environment, but it’s not an unhappiness.”

Be a role model

According to Dora Wang, assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and mother of 3-year-old Zoe, research shows that you can pass on your temperament to your children — not necessarily through your genes, but through your own behavior and childrearing style. For better or worse, children pick up on their parents’ moods. Even young babies imitate their parents’ emotional style, which actually activates specific neural pathways.
In other words, when you smile, your child smiles and his brain becomes “wired” for smiling. But be genuine — your child will sense if you’re acting. If you make a point of enjoying small things and saying what you’re grateful for, you’ll be a positive role model for your child.
You can help your child see his glass as half full rather than half empty. For example, if the baseball game gets rained out, point out what a great chance it is to go see a matinee. Cohn tells her kids, “Be happy about what you have instead of being sad about what you don’t have.” A wonderful dinnertime ritual might be for each family member to say what the best part of the day was.
Peggy O’Leary of Montara, California, finds that when she’s highly stressed, her children react immediately. “They silence themselves, they cower.” One time when O’Leary was feeling low, her son August said, “Let’s play tag again, like when you were happy.” It made her realize how sensitive he was to her moods. She now makes an effort to show her children a more positive attitude.
But you don’t have to hide your negative emotions either. You can show your child that you’re upset about your best friend moving away, and if you follow up by talking about how you will keep in touch and how much fun it will be to visit her, you’ll be teaching your child that sadness is a part of life as well as showing him how to find the silver linings.
However, if you find yourself constantly stressed out or depressed, it’s important to seek help. “Parents who tend to be depressed are often not good at being consistent with their discipline and providing structure, or at providing consistent praise and having fun with their children. All of this can contribute to emotional problems,” says Masia-Warner.

Teach them to do meaningful things

Research shows that people who have meaning in their lives feel less depressed. New Jersey mom Cohn says that charity and helping others is a big part of their family life. Even young children can benefit from this lesson.
Cohn says that after her daughter Rebecca learned about Hurricane Katrina, she and her classmates collected school supplies and backpacks to donate to the kids who lost their belongings. Even helping out with simple household chores, such as taking the laundry out of the drier, can help your preschooler feel that she’s making a contribution.

Get help

If you’re concerned your child is going through a difficult period, try talking with her teacher and the parents of her friends to see what they’re observing. O’Leary says that her daughter Jean’s kindergarten year was very stressful for her. “I knew instantly from the look in Jean’s eye, and later from her tears, that she was overwhelmed,” says O’Leary. She talked to Jean’s teacher to find out what was happening in the classroom and to see how they could ease the transition for her.
Most of the time, kids are unhappy or upset due to something stressful in their environment: a fight with a friend, stress at school, or tension at home. But sometimes the source of their discontentment is more serious.
If you see persistent signs of unhappiness — anger, crying, aggression, constant complaining, frustration that’s easily provoked, frequent headaches or stomachaches, difficulty sleeping or eating — don’t hesitate to consult a mental health professional for an evaluation. Whether you go the route of a licensed therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist, make sure you choose someone who specializes in children. Take heart though: Masia-Warner says that depression in children is rare.

I can’t imagine how a child as little as elementary school can be taught Leadership principles. At least I didn’t get that kind of education when I was a child. Perhaps when I was entering my third job that I became aware of the importance of leadership and start to learn by experience.

Mr Covey explained that he himself was surprised by the result of A.B Comb did to their students. The principal of that school has choose Leadership as its magnet theme. They use 7 habits and Baldrige tools as the foundation. The result was amazing, the score test getting better, the number of students breaking rules reduced and the most important one is that the children there were prepared with the most important skill for their future.

I wish I can find that kind of school in Jakarta, but perhaps, it will start in another couple of years..I guess I have to start it in my own house.

To be honest, I have no idea how to do it. I’ll do some more research on it. Prepare the tools, learn how the leadership school did. I hope they explain it on their web

But the most important start is to learn and do the 7 habits myself. I guess I still have lots to learn and practice. I’m going to read that book again..

I just finished a book sharing session with my colleague for this very interesting book. I’m amazed how he could open my eyes about the “logic VS creative”  thing that has hanging in my head lately and gave me a very great answer. 

Whole new mind means Left-side brained mind with 6 basic sense of Right-side brained mind. Why does right brain concept raise all the sudden? the answer is 3A, Abundance, Asia and Automation. The world has full of efficient, logic people. Product quality is only a entry ticket to the market, then a great design will make a differentials. Furthermore, logic and analytical tasks are easily transferred to India, Singapore, and other Asia where the cost of resource are cheaper. The last is that machine will definitely defeat human in analytical capability. All end up with the raise of “a whole mind” concept.

There are 6 senses that need to be developed:

1. Design – = function + meaning . “All the things around you is the result of design”
2. Story — present the fact with emotion, not only data and information, but also Story. The ability to sell, communicate and understand yourself is needed to make a touching story
3. Symphony – see the pattern, relation. Not only focus and specialist but also combine many things (symphony). Synthesis – to see the big picture, out of the box, combine completely different things to be one unity
4. Empathy — the ability to feel what other people feel. Logic is not enough

Ability to understand what makes other people happy, to build relationship, to care with the others

5. Play — “the opposite of play is not working, but depression” , Balance of serious and play
6. Meaning — Not only material but also the meaning of life

“Human main concern is not to be happy or avoid pain, but to find the meaning of life” , “People have enough to live, but nothing to live for; they have means but no meaning” — Viktor Frankl

You’ve got to read this book, it has a portfolio that shows you how to train your right side of your brain..

I really recommend parents to read Tony Buzan book, “The Brain Child”. It’s not a new book, but I just found the reason why I get interested with this topic. What else..of course it’s because my precious son has almost reach his first 2 years. I have no clue, what to do and what not to do for his education and development.

I found the book very easy to understand and resourceful for parents who wants the best for their child’s brain development. I decided to buy the book, even though I’ve finished read it from the library. Just for future reference.

Firstly, it describe how the brain works. I was convinced that brain has a very unlimited capability and very unique. I always think that a person will only have 1 side of brain as a dominant one, so we have to choose whether be a fully logical person or a very artistic person. But I was wrong. Someone can be very brilliant if he/she develop his/her both side of brain.

It’s the same with left or right handed. It shouldn’t be only one hand that master everything. The best is both hand should be trained alternately, and perhaps the dominance only 60:40. And of course there is no better one, left handed or right handed.

Second, it describe how a child learn. The process was called TEFCAS. Trial, Event, Feedback, check, adjust and Success. Yes, all children are born to be success, but what make them really success or not is the way their parents educate and nurture them. Trial mean ” try all”. I fully understand this statement, as my child continually explore his world and try to pull everything. Then, the trial will make an event. After that, the universe will give feedback to the child. he/she will analyze it and finally adjust his trial to reach his objective. And finally, he will be success. This whole process make my child behavior more make sense for me, and I understand how to react.

Third one, it convince me that every child is unique. Both physical (comes from DNA) and mental (experience, environment, way of nurture) factor have made even a twin or brother/sister completely different. Therefore, as a parent, I should not compare my child ability with other child. Rather than make him feel down by point out his weakness, it’s better to encourage him to develop his skill in area that he like most. The most important is always have faith on your child capability! He is a genius!

Fourth, what food your child brain need are ONLI..Oxygen,  nutrition, love and information. If you’re thinking that nutrition is enough.. then you’re wrong. Cause it’s only 1 element out of 4. The first one, oxygen, can be obtain if the child physically healthy and love to exercise. Love is something that God has delegated for parents to give to their children. Without love, our brain won’t develop maximum. The last one is information.. I’ve never realize this one..

There are lots of other important info there.. but you have to read it yourselves

Artikel ini diambil dari http://www.infoibu.com/mod.php?mod=publisher&op=viewarticle&artid=64. Ini cukup memberi saya inspirasi. Semoga membantu ibu2 diluar sana, yang memiliki masalah yang sama dengan memberikan anak..

Sering kali kita mendengar kecemasan dari para ibu yang anaknya mengalami kesulitan makan. Apakah cukup asupan gizinya?, Bagaimana mengatasi anak yang sulit makan?—dapatkan tipsnya….

Memberi makan pada anak, khususnya bayi dan balita tidaklah semudah mengucapkan atau membayangkannya.
Menolak makan, melepeh (memuntahkan makanannya kembali), ‘mengemut’ , hanya mau makanan cair dan lumat saja, kesulitan dalam menghisap, menelan , mengunyah makanan, hanya menyukai satu atau beberapa jenis makanan saja, atau bahkan kebiasaan makan sesuatu yang tidak layak untuk dimakan. Hal tersebut di atas sering kali menjadi kendala dalam pemberian makanan pada anak.
Kecemasan ibu jadi timbul, ketakutan akan tidak terpenuhinya kecukupan gizi, energi, maupun nutrisi untuk tumbuh kembang anak tersayang.
Keadaan tersebut tidak dapat dibiarkan dan harus segera ditangani dengan mencari penyebab masalah makan anak , di samping memberikan nutrisi padat energi.
Pentingnya membina dan mengembangkan keterampilan makan pada anak, dimulai sejak dini.
Dimulai dari waktu bayi lahir dengan gerakan mengisap susu, dilanjutkan dengan memberi makanan yang lebih padat secara bertahap baik konsistensi maupun jumlahnya sesuai usia anak.
Perkembangan keterampilan makan yang berlangsung sejak lahir sampai dengan usia 3 tahun merupakan sesuatu yang memerlukan pelatihan dan pembinaan baik untuk ibu dan anak. Dikatakan usia 6 – 9 bulan merupakan periode kritis dalam pembinaan keterampilan makan. Apabila periode ini tidak dimanfaatkan secara optimal dapat timbul masalah makan pada anak.
Banyak faktor yang mempengaruhi kebiasaan makan, selain selera makan, faktor sosial , budaya , ekonomi, agama, umur dan jenis kelamin, emosi , pendidikan, kondisi kesehatan dan obat – obatan yang dikomsumsi dapat menekan / meningkatkan nafsu makan.
Penyebab masalah kesulitan makan pada anak dapat berupa ;
-Faktor organik ; meliputi rongga mulut (bibir, gusi, lidah, rongga mulut) sampai dengan usus dan organ –organ tubuh yang berhubungan dengan pencernaan, yang dipengaruhi oleh sistem saraf.
-Faktor nutrisi ; pengetahuan ibu atau pengasuh dalam menentukan jenis , jumlah makanan yang diberikan kepada anak sesuai perkembangan usianya.
-Faktor psikologis ; sering kali menjadi hambatan dalam perkembangan keterampilan makan anak. Sikap suka memaksakan makanan menyebabkan bayi/ anak merasakan proses makan sebagai saat yang tidak menyenangkan , berakibat timbulnya rasa anti terhadap makanan. Sering kali timbul masalah pada ibu mengenai hal tentang masalah sosia-kultural dan aturan makan yang ketat / berlebihan , sikap yang terlalu obsesif dan overprotektif sehingga menimbulkan respon negatif dari anak.
Tips memberi makan pada anak ;
-Berikanlah makanan anak sesuai dengan usia dan perkembangannya.
-Variasikan menu, perubahan rasa , keragaman dan penyajian yang menarik diperlukan agar anak tidak cepat bosan.
-Lebih baik memberi makanan yang padat gizi dan berenergi tinggi dalam porsi kecil dari pada cemilan yang akan mengganggu timbulnya rasa lapar , sehingga kecukupan energi dan nutrisi anak terpenuhi.
-Biasakan makan teratur dan beri makanan pada anak sewaktu merasa lapar.
-Ciptakan suasana yang menyenangkan dan buatlah acara makan menjadi saat yang menggembirakan buat anak.
-Jika diperlukan suplementasi vitamin dan mineral
-Kenali dan atasi segera, konsultasikan dengan dokter anda jika timbul masalah sulit makan pada anak untuk mencari dan mengatasi penyebabnya.
-Konsultasikan dampak yang terjadi pada anak akan kemungkinan malnutrisi / kekurangan nutrisi atau zat tertentu dalam tubuh dengan dokter anda.

Berikut adalah artikel hasil temuan saya pada saat sedang frustasi dengan Fabian yang tidak mau makan… saya ambil dari web parenting http://www.parenting.co.id/article/article_detail.asp?catid=3&id=14

Suatu hari, saya mengobrol dengan rekan saya, Tengku Asra, yang tinggal di Pondok Indah. Ia  berniat memindahkan anaknya dari kelompok bermain gara-gara dia dan suaminya melihat pemandangan yang cukup ‘mengganggu’.  “Banyak anak di sekolah itu yang kegemukan!” ujar Asra. Mereka tak mau anaknya, Hamzah, menganggap obesitas sebagai hal yang wajar.
Saya jadi tertarik nih. Saya tahu benar kalau kegemukan yang terjadi sejak kanak-kanak bisa berlanjut hingga dewasa kelak. Ujung-ujungnya ya membawa mereka pada seabrek masalah kesehatan. Di bawah ini, cara-cara untuk membantu anak agar bobotnya tetap ideal (plus hidupnya lebih baik dong!) serta pertanyaan yang sering muncul:

Kelihatannya, si kecil (1 tahun)
akan gemuk seperti kakaknya.
Bisakah dicegah sejak dini?

Berbeda dengan orang dewasa, anak memerlukan nutrisi dan kalori tambahan sebagai ‘bahan bakar’ untuk tumbuh kembang. Meski begitu, tetap saja kalori yang masuk dan kalori yang keluar harus seimbang. Inilah tipnya agar berat anak selalu terjaga:

Latih kepekaan rasa mereka. Kalau anak dibiasakan makan yang sehat-sehat, pola ini akan terbawa sampai nanti. Makanya, mulailah membentuk kebiasaan ini sejak dini.
Hanya sajikan makanan yang sehat. Misalnya, perbanyak sayur dan buah, batasi asupan gula (coret minuman yang diberi pemanis buatan dalam daftar belanja!), olahlah makanan secara sehat (lebih banyak yang dipanggang atau direbus ketimbang digoreng), dan sebagainya.  
Lupakan aturan ‘habiskan makananmu’. Anak harus belajar berhenti makan begitu kenyang. Jika ia harus selalu menghabiskan apapun (padahal perutnya sudah tidak muat lagi), Anda bakal kerepotan untuk menyuruhnya berhenti makan nantinya! Catatan: Tak perlu menyediakan makanan yang berlebihan. Kalau masih lapar, si kecil pasti minta lagi kok. 
Siasati acara makan bersama. Penelitian membuktikan, keluarga yang selalu makan bersama, minimal 1 kali sehari, akan mengonsumsi makanan yang lebih bergizi dibandingkan me-reka yang tidak melakukannya. Yang penting, jangan hidangkan semua makanan di atas meja, melainkan taruhlah makanan (yang lengkap dan sesuai kebutuhan) di piring masing-masing. Juga, aturlah agar acara makan ini berlangsung paling lama sekitar 30 menit.

Anak saya menolak makan
berbagai makanan sehat.
Bagaimana cara memotivasinya?

Inilah masalah yang paling umum (dan bikin pusing) para orangtua. Bisa kok disiasati. Caranya sebagai berikut:
Pamerkan kebiasaan sehat Anda. Anak adalah peniru ulung. Makanya, Anda (plus suami) harus kompak dan membuat si kecil selalu melihat Anda berdua menikmati makanan yang baru dan sehat. Catatan: Jika Anda tak suka makanan tertentu (padahal itu baik untuk anak), berpura-puralah menikmatinya. Selera Anda bisa berkembang lho. Bisa-bisa Anda malah jadi penggemar berat makanan tersebut kelak.   
Buatlah makanan sehat sebagai satu-satunya pilihan. Kosongkan kulkas dan lemari dari makanan yang tidak sehat, serta hanya siapkan makanan bergizi seimbang pada waktu makan bayi. Begitu lapar, mau tidak mau anak akan makan makanan yang disediakan.
Perkenalkan makanan baru setiap minggu. Jika awalnya anak tidak mau menyentuh makanan, cobalah lagi, lagi, dan lagi. Bila perlu, sajikan makanan tersebut sampai 10 kali sebelum si kecil tergerak untuk mencicipinya. Penelitian  membuktikan, anak akan menerima makanan yang semula ditolaknya, setelah terekspos makanan tersebut sampai 10-15 kali. Jadi, jangan memaksa dan jangan cepat-cepat menyerah ya! 
Biarkan anak memilih. Berikan daftar makanan yang terbaik bagi anak, lalu biarkan ia memilih 2-3 jenis makanan yang paling disukainya. Anak pasti akan menghabiskan makanan yang dipilihnya sendiri.
Tambahkan saja sesuatu. Beberapa sayur (misalnya brokoli atau bayam) mengandung suatu zat, sehingga terasa pahit. Untuk menetralisir rasa pahit tersebut, tambahkan garam, gula, lelehan keju di atasnya, dan sebagainya.

Si 3 tahun saya selalu buru-buru
menelan makanannya.
Apa jalan keluarnya?

Ini memang sering terjadi pada anak. Namun, anak harus belajar makan secara perlahan-lahan dan tidak sekaligus. Kalau tidak, bisa-bisa ia tidak dapat mengerem makannya. Perut memerlukan waktu untuk memberitahu otak kalau ‘kapling’ yang ada sudah penuh. Makanya, Anda harus benar-benar mengatur porsi makanan si kecil. Ini triknya:
Potonglah makanan dalam ukuran kecil. Juga, berikan garpu khusus anak-anak. Cara ini akan membuatnya terbiasa mengunyah makanan yang lebih kecil.
Ajaklah ngobrol. Ketika makan bersama, tanyakan ber- bagai hal pada anak. Misalnya, aktivitasnya pada hari itu, apa yang dilakukan babysitter, dan sebagainya. Dengan menjawab pertanyaan Anda, mau tidak mau ia akan memperlambat tempo makannya. Katakan pula, bahwa ia harus makan perlahan-lahan, sebab ini adalah bagian dari pelajaran sopan santun.
Jadikan ajang permainan. Misalnya, ajak anak berlomba mengunyah. Ia harus menghunyah nasi sampai 10 kali dan lain-lain. Selain seru, tantangan seperti ini akan membuatnya tidak terburu-buru mengunyah makanan.

Mengapa minum air
penting bagi anak?

Anak harus banyak-banyak minum agar bisa melakukan ber-bagai aktivitas sehari-hari. Apalagi, jika udara sedang panas-panasnya.
Minum air is a must. Anak yang masih kecil gampang sekali dehidrasi alias kekurangan cairan tubuh, sebab ia terlalu ‘sibuk’ beraktivitas (bermain). Saking asyiknya, ia sering lupa atau malas minum. Begitu sadar, ternyata sudah terlambat. Ia sudah keburu dehidrasi. Makanya, ajarkan anak untuk sering-sering minum. Catatan: Kekurangan cairan bisa membuat si kecil kelelahan atau pusing.
Pilih-pilih air minum. Air memainkan peran vital dalam tubuh. Di antaranya adalah membantu tubuh menjalankan fungsinya dengan baik. Makanya, air putih harus selalu jadi pilihan utama ketika si kecil haus. 
Siapkan alternatif lain. Kekurangan cairan dalam tubuh si kecil bisa pula diatasi dengan membe-rinya buah yang banyak mengandung air (misalnya semangka), sup, dan sebagainya. Catatan: Batasi konsumsi minuman manis yang berlebihan, sebab ini merupakan penyebab utama kegemukan pada anak. Hindari pula memberinya minuman bersoda yang mengandung kafein, karena kafein akan membuat anak sering-sering pipis dan kehilangan cairan tubuh (padahal ia perlu cairan untuk tubuhnya).
Letakkan air di tempat yang terjangkau. Sediakan botol khusus untuk si kecil dalam kulkas. Begitu haus, ia sudah tahu tempat yang harus ditujunya.

Mungkinkah si kecil
bisa tetap makan sehat di restoran?

Ini merupakan tantangan berat, sebab kebanyakan makanan yang tersedia dalam restoran (yang disukai oleh anak-anak) tinggi lemak, gula dan garam. Meski begitu, berikut ini beberapa hal yang bisa Anda lakukan:
Lupakan menu anak-anak. Seringkali, menu ini berisi junk food. Jadi, berikan si kecil menu orang dewasa, namun ia berbagi porsi dengan Anda. Dengan begitu, Anda berdua sama-sama tidak bakal kelebihan kalori atau lemak.
Buatlah pilihan cerdas. Pesanlah makanan yang dipanggang, direbus, dikukus, atau ditim. Kalaupun ingin makan daging (pilih yang bebas lemak) atau ikan. Jangan lupa, pesan juga menu yang mengandung sayur atau hidangan penutup berupa buah segar.
Bawa makanan anak dari rumah. Untuk jaga-jaga saja. Mungkin saja, anak tiba-tiba rewel karena tidak suka (tidak cocok) dengan makanan yang Anda pesan. Dengan begitu, waktu makannya tidak terlewatkan dan ia tetap bisa mengonsumi makanan yang sehat.

Selain memberi makanan sehat,
bagaimana cara menjaga anak agar tetap sehat?

Gampang saja kok. Ajak anak keluar rumah dan Anda harus membuatnya senang: 
Awalnya, main-main dulu! Misalnya, ajak anak bermain perang bantal, kejar-kejaran, main petak umpet, lompat tali, atau permainan lain yang cukup menguras energi. Bila perlu, adaptasi permainan ‘tradisional’ sesuai keterampilan mereka. Misalnya, bermain ‘tenis’ dengan memanfaatkan balon dan raket bulutangkis.
Doronglah agar mau bergerak. Misalnya, sambil nonton acara favoritnya, minta anak untuk mengikuti gerakan tokoh tersebut. Katakan padanya, sering-sering menggerakkan tubuh amat menyehatkan lho. Biar si kecil makin bersemangat, Anda ikut-ikutan bergerak ya. 
Selalu ciptakan aktivitas baru. Anak paling senang mencoba hal baru. Makanya, Anda harus selalu kreatif dan tidak membatasi tempat beraktivitas. Misalnya, sesekali ajak anak bermain basket dengan cara memasukkan bola ke ember atau keranjang yang besar. Ia pasti senang, sebab bisa melakukannya bersama Anda.
Terus tanamkan rasa cinta pada olahraga. Ada banyak jenis olahraga yang bisa dilakukan sesuai keterampilan dan umur anak. Misalnya, si 2-3 tahun terlalu kecil untuk olahraga terstruktur serta baru menguasai gerakan dasar, seperti berlari, menangkap dan melompat. Olahraga yang pas untuknya: Jungkir balik, kejar-kejaran, main air (di bawah pengawasan Anda), dan sebagainya. Intinya, olahraga tuh benar-benar fun. Setelah usia 6 tahun, keterampilan motorik kian terasah dan sudah tahu bahaya. Ia sudah siap untuk olahraga tim.

The first year with my cute little boy has been the most interesting time in my whole life. I had never felt so much emotion changes and physical challenges in such short period. Happy,frustrate,confuse,exciting, restless,angry,upset,love,and all the other feelings that a human being has mix into one. I found lots of personality changes in my life that I didn’t realized before.

Then, I read a book from my friend, “The seven stages of motherhood, making the most of your life as a Mum” by Ann Pleshette Murphy. My friend said that she chose this book for me because it will be applicable for the next seventeen years.Amazingly, I found this book describe exactly what I feel during my pregnancy and 1st year of motherhood. That’s makes me want to read all the content, with a hope that I will find a hint of what challenge that I will face in the next period and what is the tips/clues from other mother who has past that stage.

The writer herself has gone through all the stages she describe in the book and has lots of story about other new mum. It makes the book as a trustful and reliable source.

In this post, I will describe all the stages first and what the time frame are. I myself will read it slowly and accordingly with my son development. In next post, I’ll write all the interesting things I found there.
Stage 1
Altered states
Pregnancy, The birth and the Fourth Trimester

Stage2
Finding Your Footing, Finding Yourself
Months Four through twelve

Stage3
Letting Go
The toddlers years, 1-2 years

Stage4
Trying to do it all
The Preschool Years, 3-6 Years

Stage5
Reading the compass to God-knows-where
6-10 years

Stage6
Living in the gray zone
The preteen years, 10-13 years

Stage7
It gets easier….and then They leave
The teen years, 13-18 years

I’m so happy that there are such book that pay lots of attention on mothers feeling and emotion changes during those stages. At least, I found that I’m not alone in this world of motherhood, and it is normal to feel all the emotion I had now.

Aku hanya coba untuk embed video lmen…

Ternyata hanya perlu meng-copy text bagian disebelah kanan dari video yang akan
di” embbed” dan pastenya di blog editor. Dan ini hasilnya…


Pria yang berjalan bak model didalam video l-men ini adalah para finalis dari ajang lomba pemilihan pria berbadan ok, L-Men of the year (LOTY) 2007. Mereka terlihat sangat serasi dengan balutan busana dari berbagai daerah di Indonesia. Mungkin ini adalah salah satu appresiasi dari PT Nutrifood Indonesia sebagai produsen produk susu L-men terhadap kekayaan budaya Indonesia.

Untuk para pria, apakah tergoda untuk memiliki tubuh dengan otot dan perut six pack seperti mereka? tidak ada salahnya mencoba susu l-men rasa dark chocolate (yang pernah saya minum juga karena enak rasanya) dan mulai berlatihan di fitnes terdekat. Atau bisa tanya mengenai latihan di website resminya L-men