My thought about motherhood


Time goes by, I’ve been a mother for 21 months. I still don’t know whether I’m doing it good or bad or just fine. It’s not like in my job, they do review in periodic time and  feedback my performance . I clearly understand whether I have to change to a new method or perhaps new framework or just improve in the path I’ve choose..

Nurturing a child is probably the most complex and important task I’ve ever done. It needs both logic and feeling. It is so important that I can’t take the risk to not doing it right. The future of one important person in my life is on stake, I have to learn to be a good Mom!!

The question in my head is.. ” what is the requirement of a good mom?”, “What should I do/teach to my little baby?”,”why is it so hard just to give something that I know will be good for him, like a healthy food?” I know, I lack of knowledge here.. I need to find it somewhere, but found asking with other friends is not the right option (everybody seem to have their on believe, that I can’t understand)

Then, I start the journey with a new hobby, reading.. Something I really don’t like before.. but now, I find it very..very..very interesting. I found lots of story, other success people experience and what interested me is what their mom did and taught them. I always believe that mom has a very strong capability in shaping their child future. Here is my answer…

” what is the requirement of a good mom?”

When I ask this question, I remember my own mother. I always see my mother as a person who will be there when I need a shoulder, who help me solve my problems, who teach me how to live, who I can count on. I’m thankful that I had her as my mother and I can have and experience all things I’ve gone through so that I can be, who I am today..

I guess I have to do exactly what my mom did. She always believe that I can do all the things in this world if I want to. She can be a friend that I can share my story, but at the same time, she can be my protector who disallow me to do things I like. She gave a trust to decide things, but she gave certain limits that I should not cross. She encourage me and gave me solution when I’m desperate. I guess, trust, communication and balance is the key..

“What should I do/teach to my little baby?”

Somehow, I just think that something is missing in my mother caring. I found myself lack of creativity. I’m very strong in analytical, but I’ve never practice my right brain.

From the reading that I read, I understand that the world has changed. During my mom periods, all parents has the objective to make their children as one of those executive or professional that graduate university with flying colors. Good score means good future is in their hands.

However, technology had developed enormously. The world has moved from information era to the conceptual era (from “A Whole new mind” by Daniel H Pink) . I myself has felt the changes. I agree that education should changed too..

I believe that we need to develop both side of our child brain. So it’s not just analytical thinking, but also creativity, not just focus, but also contextual, not only fact, but also the emotional part.

I know it’s gonna be difficult, coz I myself have to learn as well.

“Why is it so hard just to give something that I know will be good for him, like a healthy food?”

I just figure out from the “brain child”- Tony Buzan, that a brain is a very sophisticated and amazing thing in human body and that every person in this world is unique. A child learn by a concept call TEFCAS (trial, event, feedback, check, adjust, success).  It’s a very interest concept that God create for human to learn.

First he try all, it means all things.. including rejecting our suggestion. Then he will evaluate the event following his attempt as a feedback. After the checking phase, whether it’s a favorable result or not, he will adjust.. is it the correct trial or not.. if not he will try all over again until it success!

So It’s important to understand my child perspective and how to give him the right feedback. I guess experience and lots of readings will guide me for this matter.

Sometimes I think, God sent Fabian for me to improve my patient🙂

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