This morning I felt failed.. Fail doing my job to teach manner and perseverance to my boy.
All this time, I thought if I quit my job, I spend whole day, I will be able to teach my children. It’s turned out to be harder than that. Time is not the only thing you need, neither knowledge about parenting. It need more than that.
My boy has turned 6 now. His logic has been developed very significant. He can do the math very well. He claim to like that subject, he can read the clock, recognize pattern of number. But when it comes to reading and writing, he stops. he said he cant read and need extra effort to force him do the exercise either in reading or writing.
Similar things happen for everything that need his effort. He does not want to do the regular practice in music, or coloring or drawing. He torn his drawing because it looked worst than my drawing or did not similar with what he expected. He affraid to swim in the deeper pool, even when he has mastered swimming skill.
He just want to jump to the “good”result, without wanting to go through the process.
I’ve tried my best to encourage him to keep trying for those hard or difficult things. But he keep gave up at first try, or even before try. He start to be a grumpy little boy, start to grumble and upset if i force him to give it a try. I try different activity, but when he know that it was a writing exercise, he stop doing it and said that he cant do it.
This grumpy habbit continue to other activity. When he cant get the food he want, toys he want, he start be angry and start to yell. Any small things will get he upset and start act like a little boss.
I really hate this behavior. I start with calm voice, and now i become very iritating every time it happen. I think my patience is finished already, so does his father. We both become very easy to be angry to Fab. I guess we are in the state of mind that “if we kind to him, fab will act disrespectfully to us “.
I know this is not the right way to do it. Fab will copy the way we angry too. I felt sorry and regret everytime I angry at Fab, but I cant help it to not do it too.
That’s why I felt failure in this parenting..
But then I realized, I cant give up my baby. I have to find a way to cut this negative cycle anger.
First I make peace with myself. At least this step I have full control of it. I guess my anger is not solely caused by Fab behaviour. Less sleep, tired, and other things also contribute in my bad mood. With my netral emotion state, I can see better, hear better, think better and act better.
Next is to observe, analyzed, try and review….
Hopefully i will get the answer shortly.. Wish me luck.