Forgive and forget


See a little girl upset because her toy was taken rudely from her, she cries out loud, screams like the world is falling down, jumping up and down to show that she really angry to the person who took her toy. But then a minute later, she is fine, with smile in her face, playing with that same person with the toy that has been given back to her.

Why does it so easy for a child to forgive and forget?

I think it has something to do with our brain. The part of brain that hold bad memories and good ones, works to make sure that the bad ones does not happen again and the good one repeat as many as it can. As the same stimulus that result in bad consequences occurs, our brain alert us to fight, fly or freeze.  I think it was what happen to our mind, when we meet someone who makes mistakes to you, especially the worst mistakes.

But how come it does not happen to a child?

I think it has something to do with how bad experience that a person had been experienced. If a person has a life or dead situation, or the one that was regreted a whole life, he/she tends to be more difficult to forgive and forget. His/her brain learn from that experience and try to make sure something like that never happened again.

In child life, he is still in his parents protection. He never had that really bad experiences. Lost of toys, do not eat candy, that was his bad experiences. It will be different to a child that live on the street and face real thief. They will be as hard as an adult.

So if you want to be like a child, try to avoid bad experiences.. :p
Or if you cant do that, try to train your logic to over come your emotion. That’s why you need to learn emotional intelligence.

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