There are times when I was so mess up with my children. My children do exactly what I don’t want them to do. Fabian keep his bossy behavior, he use anger as a tool to get what he want. Any small wrong thing will evoke his anger and shout. He also quit at things that he find difficult to do. At that time my mind was full of negativity. I saw my my little boy as a grumpy quitter little boy. No matter what I do, it did not make any difference with his behaviour.
At the same time, my little girl reach her terrible two. She was turned from little angel into a beast little girl who cried and shouted most of the time. It just grow my negative mind to the worst level. I saw my little girl as a rebel girl. She continued with that behaviour.
I was so upset that I just break down and cried.
After all the bad emotions was expressed, my logic start to take over. I start to realize how I continue the cycle of negativity with my children. I go to salon to have creambath then I start to relax and fill myself with positive mind.
I saw my little girl was experimenting with “control”. She want to see if I do this what will happened, if I do that what will happened. I start to see the pattern and suddenly I know what to do. I go firm with daily routine. No matter how she cried, I keep her back to do it. Until several trial, she realize that none of her ways work, and she do it voluntary.
Fabian suddenly stop his anger habit, he turn to be one fine boy. I think was because what I said might be different when I was not controlled with negative emotion. I must have done the right thing that I did not realized because I have not learned the technic of how to build good character.
It is true that was told in the Secret. What’s in your mind will be happened. I will tried to make that positive image of my son and daugther in my mind. They will a great person that find their passion, live healthy, have a happy life and find their meaning of life.
However, it does not mean that if you do not learn parenting skill, and just stay positive will make your parenting just fine. Because at the time you do bad parenting, the result will drive you crazy, that will kill all your positive minds. Unless of course you are a very stabil person that meditate and can fully control your emotion.
Parenting skill will give you understanding of what the child gone thru. It also give you the right way to act or at least alternative ways. That will lead bettet chance of success.
So, remember… Your child is what you are thinking they will be. If you think he is a devil, he will one annoying beast who was created to ruins your days. If you think he is an angel, he will be the cute angel who makes you falling in love deeply.