‘Instant’ is the third enemy of parenting


I still remember having a thick book that I ‘d looked for when I learn new english word. It takes times to translate even a single sentence. Now with Google and wikipedia within my mobile, I don’t think I would buy any dictionary nor encyclopedia. It takes less than 1second to get answers in google.

Instant – has kill patience. Process is become less important, and result is the main product. Process was taken over by technology. Technology will do the repeated process and do it faster than human. Finally, human does not understand and forget the beauty of process, he want a fast and good result in everything.

I remembered being asked by a father, what result I got for sending my big boy to preschool. It need times for me to answer that question. I never set any target and I just believe that the school would give better stimulus than his babysitter (since I was working at that time). For God sake, it’s not even kindergarden, and parent do expect clear result of school.

I found several reading tutors who guarantee my child will be able to master reading and writing within few weeks. How can that complex skill was mastered in such as short period? It turn out that capability to spell is different with reading in contextual. Children can read, but he can not understand what he read and he maybe hate to do it too.

Instant maybe good in industry, business, and other area, but not parenting. Why?
Technology can only do standardized process that it has been programmed to do. Yes it can be designed to be able to learn from previous data and make a better result. But AI can not be used in a complex environment that all the factors was related to each other.

Human is a very complex creature. It is organic and it grow like othe organic species. Have you ever plant a flower? With the same procedure of treatment, it still may grown diferently. Unless the procedure controlled every factor in its environment. That is possible for plant that can not walk, talk, interact, and do not have personality, but not human.

Therefore there will be no perfect parenting procedure that will give the best result for every child. Each child is unique, his environment is differ, his network of influence is differ too. It is parents responsibility to learn how to raise their child privately. It will be a trial and error process.

Patience is a crucial thing in parenting. I remember how frustrated I was when I’ve tried to encourage my little boy to love books. I’ve bought different type of children books and special book case that show the front title of the book since he was baby. But that little library rarely being touch by him, he prefer to do outdoor activities. Until I found out that he did not like fiction, and I start to collect non fiction books. It takes 4years to figure it out.

Parenting will be a continual process that may take life time. Both parent and child will learn in the process. It teach parent to be a better person, because his child is the mirror that show him who he is. As the parent grow mature, the child will learn to be a better person as well.

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