One day, Renata asked me to wait for her friend’s mom to pick up at school. She said that her friend wanted to give her a gun toy that can be changed into a trendy bag (I’ve seen that toy in the toy store few weeks ago and it cost around 300.000 IDR). I really thought it was impossible for any parents to give away that kind expensive toy for free without any special occasion. But Rena was very sure that her friend will keep her promise, so I go along with her plan. After few days trying to wait, finally we met her mom and follow to her car. Her friend said that she will take it from the car. After she went into the car, the car started to go, and her friend just waving good bye.
I can see Rena is broken-hearted, she was confused with her friend and why she just left. On the other hand I was upset, I said to her “See, what did I tell you, she can not be trusted. Don’t trust her anymore”
The next day, I thought Rena will be upset and don’t want to play with her anymore. To my surprise, she did not. She forgive and act like nothing had happened before. Then she asked me, whether she can go play to her house. I immediately said “No, remember she is often not telling the truth. She probably was not ask her parents before”
Few month passed, I still remember that event, along with stories that she tell Rena like she had saw mermaid, ghost, other friends kissing each other. I began to dislike that little girl because of her lies. Guess what, Rena is still “best friend” with that girl. She did not like with her behavior and expressed it, but she did not hate or judge the person.
Ups.. I thought I am the one who supposed to teach my child about life and how to live in this life. Then, I am the one who is learning to be more wise from my child.
The more I reflect, the more I realized, that I learned more from my children than they learned from me. I just happen to know things that is temporary and superficial, while they brought the wisdom from their birth.
When I see how a child is never giving up in learning how to walk, I should do the same with my dream. When I see how they laugh, freely and purely, and play with all children, I should open my mind and start to laugh at life too.
I never see my child worry about the future, yet they learning new skills everyday by copying surround them. It is us, adult who teach them to worry, to be afraid about the future and to get the easiest way to be safe by protecting comfort zone.
I saw one of my worst behavior copy in my big boy. He started to take revenge to other who hurt him. I realized that I am the one who modeled that thinking in our daily life. I began to realized, what make us different with the “bad” guy, if we do the same “bad” act. Even if it seems to be not fair to let the “bad” guy get away with what he did, it is not our right to judge and punish others. God has His own way to give consequences in someone life. It is too way sophisticated for our brain to understand how God works. I believe that every event has a meaning in our life, even the bad ones. It is better for us to embrace it rather than to refuse and complaint.
As I told to Fabian to not take revenge to others, I also tell it to myself. As I repeat my explanation to him, I began to internalize it myself.
Thank you Fabian, Thank you Renata, you are making me a better person. Don’t stop teaching me the lesson of life.